I’m 29 years old. I lead a super busy routine. I am a workaholic. I know it is not really a thing to be proud of, but I am what I am. However I also know how to balance my life. I spend my Saturday nights and Sundays at home in pajamas, reading novels, writing poetry, listening to music, at times ordering in food, and doing fun activities with my twins – Puhor and Niyor.
While this may sound very boring to you, but this way of spending my time – weekdays and weekends – makes me happy. My idea of happiness is more about pursuing peace and relaxation than giddy excitement.
Being in a happy state of mind always is not easy. I’m saying this because I have faced anxiety in its extreme form. Depression was killing me until I started analysing and doing things that made me feel better. In case, you are lost and don’t know where to look, that’s okay; I’ll talk about all the places you can find happiness.
When most people seek happiness in times of anxiety, they are actually seeking pleasure: good food, sex, drugs, parties, and so on. (saying from what I’ve seen and experienced.)
But while pleasure is great, it’s not the same as happiness. Ask any drug addict how their pursuit of pleasure turned out. Ask an adulterer whether pleasure ultimately brought happiness and made her messy married life bearable. Ask a guy who almost ate like there’s no tomorrow if it helped him forget the woes.
Pleasure is the most superficial form of life satisfaction and therefore the easiest. It’s what we use to distract ourselves. But pleasure, while necessary, isn’t sufficient. There’s something more.
1. Know yourself
Ask yourself: What makes YOU happy? When do you feel most happy? Where do you feel happy? For e.g.: I know family, work, books, friends, and travel (in no particular order) make me happy. And I am happiest in the company of Mother Nature – it could be a long walk in the park or a trip to the hills. Take some time to get to know yourself and who you really are as a person. This can be a great way to unearth things about yourself that maybe you never knew before!
2. Loving someone – can be a friend, colleague, spouse, anyone!
To love someone is a beautiful feeling. We all need someone to rely upon, to share our feelings and feel a sense of belonging with, and to find comfort and happiness in his/her company. Find that someone and see the magic of happiness weaving in your life.
3. Finding beauty in ordinary
When I’m home alone and feeling down, I go out and spend some time with nature – watch the birds fly, smell the flowers, gaze at the stars … I also enjoy watching kids play in the park, interacting with strangers, and indulging in ice creams. I find happiness in small things. So, I would suggest you to go out and see things from a positive perspective; you never know there could be a whole new world waiting for you to be discovered.
4. Cut off the negativity
This could be in the form of bad habits or even negative people in your life. If something or someone is taking away from your ability to feel happy and peaceful, remove that negativity from your life completely. Like I realised I don’t need those fake and narrow-minded people in my life!
5. Not being perfect is absolutely fine
Letting go off perfectionism helped me find peace. We are all on a journey of improving ourselves and constantly making progress and no one can be expected to be perfect all of the time. I learnt to forgive myself, move on, and grow from the bad experiences.
6. Listen to your heart
Sometimes our hearts tell us things we don’t want to hear. Making some decisions are hard and uncomfortable and at times require more strength from us than we feel we have to give. Listen to your heart anyway and try to make decisions and choices in your life that align with what you truly want.
7. Seek support, if the need be
Ask friends or family for additional support to help you accomplish the goals you want to achieve. Or maybe even seek out a therapist if you feel you have some tough things you’d like to work through with the help of a professional. The psychotherapy sessions have truly helped me. Surrounding myself with positive and uplifting people who support me unconditionally is one of the greatest gifts I have received in life.
There is good to be found in every single day if we look for it. Be thankful for what you have and happiness will be at your doorstep automatically.
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